So, by the numbers, I’ve lost 69 pounds in a year. There are a lot of lap band folks that lose far more in their first year. When I started this, I really had no true expectation as to what to work towards as far as a one year goal. So, about six months in I made the goal of 75 pounds. While I didn’t hit that goal, I’m still very pleased with my progress. It’s over half of what I wanted to lose. So, over half way there.
I found that while the scale is the major way to measure success and progress, I totally enjoyed the non scale achievements so much more. These include: Being able to cross my legs, buckling an airline lap belt without the use of an extension, buying clothes in a store instead of ordering them online, and so many more! I’ve been fortunate enough that a friend of mine has been losing weight too, and I’ve been adopting her clothes. That’s saved me soooo much in the way of money, time spent shopping, etc. Along the lines of saving money, I’m now off my blood pressure medicine, so that’s another $40 a month saved!
This journey this year has not come without struggles. I knew going into it, that it wasn’t going to be easy. There were physical struggles… learning how to eat again, learning how to eat socially, constant obedience and reminders that I have to be careful. Believe me, you haven’t lived until you’ve taken one bite, and it got stuck (more on that another time.) There were times I grew very tired of the constant obedience. I look at people eating at restaurants and think “you’re so lucky that you don’t have to *THINK* every time you take a bite. I chose to do this, and I’ve accepted the physical struggles I’ve had. What took me by surprise is the mental struggles. Losing weight doesn’t heal your mind. I continue look around (when I’m in public) and I feel like I’m *still* the biggest person in the room. When I was heavy, I would see people look at me, an then quickly look away, their attempt to not gawk at the fat person. I still feel like this happens… and maybe it does. I’m trying to work on these things, and have thought often about seeing a counselor or therapist to help me adjust. Maybe I will think more about that this year.
So, what’s next. One year down, many more to go. Experts say that you can get to your goal weight in about two years. I’d like to achieve that. That means losing about sixty more pounds. I’m ready for it, but I believe I can set some goals for myself to get there. The next step after getting to goal weight, is to maintain. One step at a time, right? When discussing my goal weight, my dietitian asked me what I weighed at the age of 25. I asked why this age and she says everyone says they’d like to look like what they did when they first got out of college. Well, at the age of 25, I weighed about 275 pounds! (I constantly have to remind the folks working on me this that I have been over weight my-whole-life!) Needless to say, I’m well below that now, so the vision of what I want to look like is unknown. Sure, I could look back at my high school pics, but I weigh now what I did then. I want to do better than that! So, for now the *picture* that I keep focusing on is not physical, but more so, mental. I want to be healthy.
I’ve been so blessed to have support of friends that (more than anything) have listened to me this year. They can’t lose the weight for me, but by golly, they were there with encouraging words, hugs, and listening ears.
Pics are below of me before and after. Here’s screwed up for ya… I don’t have many pics of myself because I’ve never, EVER liked having my picture taken. I’ve always been so ashamed of how I looked. Maybe, given time, I’ll change that thought too. 🙂
Here’s to next year, and hopefully, seeing less of me. 🙂