The private pre-school (daycare is the WRONG word for this place) that Eli attends recognizes the family of a student each month as the “Family of the Month”. When Eli was 1 year old I shamed one of the admins into putting our name in the hat. I was joking, but there you go, we were Family of the Month once in the year 2008.
I guess they forgot that we had been through that specific honor, and this month the Jones family is being recognized as the Primrose Family of the Month for April 2011.
“What,” you might ask, “does it mean to be a Primrose Family of the Month?”
First, they hold a HUGE parade in the parking lot for you. The Family of the Month all climb into a litter. Then all the kids from toddling age and above get together and hoist the family of the month above their heads and take them for a lap around the parking lot. The entire time they hollar “<Family Name> IS GREAT!!”
Afterward is the feast. It is very good.
Finally they put The Family of the Month picture and short biography on the school bulletin board.
Well, at least one of the things I described above happens.
Kay and I were asked to supply a recent photograph and biography. Here is our entry:
The Jones Family (Code name “Team Snark”)
The Jones Family infiltrated Primrose when Eli was 10 weeks old. Their ongoing mission is to make sure that Eli is properly trained in the areas of espionage and guile so that he can participate in future family missions.
Public Persona: Eli Jones
Age: 4 Years
Code Name(s): Agent E, Mr. Buttons
Secret Weapon(s): Mustard Gas (a.k.a. “Toots”)
Weakness(es): Time Out, Devices with Buttons
Eli Jones mastered both sides of “The Force” at the age of three. He is constantly attempting to best every device in the home that contains buttons. The Wii gets this treatment as often as his parents allow.
Public Persona: Kay Jones
Age: Undisclosed. (We are in The South. You know better than to ask!)
Code Name(s): Agent K, Mommy, “Mother”
Secret Weapon(s): Misdirection, Practical Jokes
Weakness(es): Abhors dried fruit of any kind.
Kay Jones acquired her degree in “Agricultural Education” from N. C. State while on assignment. She is currently working undercover at a real estate publishing company.
Public Persona: Jay Jones
Age: Not quite 40.
Code Name(s): Agent J, Captain Obvious
Secret Weapon(s): Daunting vocabulary, Horrible Jokes
Weakness(es): Flying insects, Improper grammar
Jay Jones met Kay Jones while studying for his engineering degree at N. C. State. After five years of marriage Kay revealed her secret identity at which point Jay joined “the organization” and they formed “Team Snark”.