Mommy Guilt

Eli has been sick. Stomach bugs are not at all uncommon, and Eli’s certainly brought his share of them home from day care. The way it usually works is that he pukes for about 18 hours (not constant of course) but then gets to feeling better, hold down water and crackers, and in about three days, he returns to school.

That’s until Monday morning. At 2:30am he comes into our room and announces that his tummy is hurting. I check him to make sure he hasn’t yet vomited, and I lead him into the bathroom, where he then begins to vomit. I told him (with urgency) to hold his head over the commode. He does and then proceeds to continue vomiting. I had not had the chance to lift the lid of the commode, so now there’s puke all over the lid. As he is continuing to vomit, I have not choice but to lift the lid, so the rest goes into the toilet. So, lots to clean.

We spend the rest of Monday watching as Eli dry heaves and plays rag- doll well into the evening. Monday night was uneventful, and Tuesday, Eli wakes asking for water. We begin giving him sips, and 30 mins later, he pukes it all up. Well, the day goes much better, as his energy is returning, and he begins to keep sips of water down. We even did three crackers on Tues night, unevenfully. Jay and I are thinking Eli’s on the mend, and by Wed afternoon, he’ll be back to his old self.

Wednesday morning, Eli’s drinking water, and says he’s still sick. I play along, as he often thinks he sick well after he gets better. Eli then proceeds to puke up all of the water, and every sip after that. There was even some blood. Okay, we’ve seen enough, and Jay takes him to the Dr. Dr. says it’s a virus, and it has to run it’s course. They checked him for various ailments (including strep) and all came back negative. Eli now has medicine for nausea, and is resting at home with Jay.

So, what are the feelings? First, it is the most horrible thing to watch your child be sick and know there is not one thing ¬†you could do. If given the chance, you’d take their place in a second. Next, I had to be at work today. Webinars beckon. Jay is more than capable of handling Eli, his ailment, puking, a raging tiger and a pissed off old woman and more by his lonesome. Yet, I’m filled with guilt that he is. Why is that? I know it’s conjured up in my mind, but why do I impose this on myself?
Oh well, Eli will mend and all will be better soon.

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